Conflict Coach Reveals Harry’s Biggest Mistake in His Bid to Feel ‘Validated’: ‘You Risk…’


Four years after stepping down from his royal duties, Prince Harry has expressed a desire to repair his relationship with his family.

In a recent BBC interview, the Duke of Sussex revealed that his father, King Charles, is currently unwilling to speak with him. But the interview, which reportedly caught the royal family off guard, may have done more harm than good.

A Misstep in Strategy

Conflict coach Julie Cobalt spoke to Hello! magazine about the interview’s impact and Harry’s broader approach to the rift. According to Cobalt, going public has made it harder for Harry to regain control of the situation. “Publicly criticizing your family, especially in a memoir, virtually guarantees defensiveness and further distance,” she said. “It also strips you of control over how your message is received.”

Cobalt referenced Harry’s memoir Spare, in which he openly discussed personal matters within the royal household, as a major contributor to the ongoing tension.

If reconciliation was truly his goal, she argued, a more private and thoughtful approach would have been wiser. “He could have worked with a conflict coach or mediator,” she suggested, emphasizing the importance of private and honest conversations over public disclosure.

Family Struggles and Hope for Healing

In his BBC interview, Harry also spoke about losing his taxpayer-funded security and claimed the royal family was responsible. Despite his ongoing frustrations, he expressed hope for healing, especially with his father, who is currently undergoing cancer treatment. “I would love reconciliation with my family. There’s no point continuing to fight anymore. Life is precious,” he said.

But Cobalt believes publicizing these statements undermines any chance for true healing. “If your goal is healing, involving the public complicates the path,” she said. “You also risk misinterpretation. Photos, headlines, or quotes taken out of context can inflame things further.

The Problem With Public Validation

Cobalt also pointed to the couple’s 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey as another example of seeking public validation rather than resolution. “People often turn to a third party, whether it’s a friend, neighbor, or social media, not just to vent but to be validated,” she said. “That validation can be emotionally rewarding, especially when it reinforces a sense of being wronged. It’s much easier to stay in the role of victim than to look inward and explore your own contribution to the problem.”

She concluded that while sharing publicly can feel empowering, it often strengthens feelings of conflict rather than paving the way for understanding. “Public sharing can feel like control and clarity, but it often replaces resolution with reinforcement,” she explained.

Royal Trust at an All-Time Low

In the wake of Harry’s most recent interview, royal insiders say the damage may be too deep to repair. Trust, it seems, has been severely eroded. A source close to the family told Page Six, “Maybe there’s room to forgive, but they won’t forget. Forgiveness and trust are two different things.”