Ever been stuck next to nightmare passengers? Let me introduce you to the honeymooners who turned my 14-hour flight into chaos. They treated the cabin like their private suite. When they pushed it too far, I gave them a bit of turbulence — my style.
I had booked a premium economy seat for the long haul — comfort was key. Soon after boarding, the guy next to me asked if I could swap with his wife, who was stuck in regular economy. “We just got married,” he said.
I politely declined. “Sorry, I paid extra for this seat. If you cover the upgrade. It was AU$1,000.”
He laughed and said no. I smiled, wished him congrats, and put on my earbuds. That’s when the fun began:
- He started coughing loudly — on purpose.
- Watched movies with no headphones.
- Let crumbs fall on my seat.
- Then his wife came over and sat on his lap — grinning at me the whole time.
That was the last straw. I leaned over with a smile.
“Alright, you win,” I said. Then I pressed the call button.
“Excuse me, flight attendant? These two have turned this row into their honeymoon suite.”
The flight attendant arched an eyebrow, glancing between me and the overly affectionate newlyweds.
I kept going, counting on my fingers: “There’s been loud coughing, a movie on full blast with no headphones, crumbs all over me, and now…” I motioned to Lia sitting right on Dave’s lap, “whatever this is supposed to be.”
The attendant’s polite expression cracked just slightly, showing a flicker of irritation. “Sir, ma’am, I understand you’re excited — but we have rules. Adults aren’t allowed to sit on each other’s laps during a flight.”
Then she turned to Lia. “Because of your disruptive behavior, I’m going to have to ask both of you to move to the back of the plane — in economy.”
***
I couldn’t help but wonder what Dave and Lia were up to. Were they sulking in the back, whispering about how to get even?
“I need the bathroom!” Lia suddenly shrieked. Her voice was sharp and desperate, with Dave trailing right behind her.
“Ma’am, you need to return to your seat. The seatbelt sign is still on,” the flight attendant said calmly.
Lia’s expression twisted. “I really can’t hold it! Please, I’m begging!”
Then the same stewardess from earlier walked up — the one who’d already had to deal with them. Her voice was firm. “I already explained the rules. Back to your seats. Or would you like me to get the air marshal involved?”
That shut them down. Without another word, they turned around and trudged back to their seats in economy, completely deflated.
As we started our descent into California, I felt more than just relief — it was quiet satisfaction. And as I walked off the plane, I saw them standing near the gate, avoiding everyone’s eyes.
As I walked past their row, I couldn’t help myself. “Hope today taught you something. Have a lovely honeymoon!”
Dave’s face flushed deep red, but he stayed quiet. Good call.
I stepped off the plane feeling satisfied, ready to enjoy my trip.
There they were — my wife and kid, beaming as soon as they saw me. Just like that, Dave and Lia were forgotten. I was back where I belonged. That’s what really mattered.